F#@!

*WARNING: POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE 

I’ve never been much for swearing but I’ve noticed that since Corva died, I’ve been much more willing to let a fuck fly from my mouth. Usually under my breath and never in front of my living daughter, but still….

I wonder if this stems from anger? Grief? Or just the realization that after one delivers a dead baby, bad language is futile.

How the fuck did this happen?

What the fuck? My baby died.

Why the fuck?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

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4 thoughts on “F#@!”

  1. I don’t swear much but I swear in my mind a lot more than I used to. Within a day or two of coming home from the hospital post-stillbirth I messaged some of my closest friends to let them know what happened so they wouldn’t find out via Facebook newsfeed. My best friend from high school wrote back something along the lines of “that’s fucking terrible” and it was seriously the best response I got from anyone. I had never felt so in love with the F word as I did in that moment, so I’ve started to embrace it as appropriate when dealing with tragic circumstances.

    Liked by 1 person

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